MARY SUES - Or, wtf mate

Let's start with a wee definition:

A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in literary criticism and particularly in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. It is generally accepted as a character whose positive aspects overwhelm their other traits until they become one-dimensional. While the label "Mary Sue" itself originates from a parody of this type of character, most characters labelled "Mary Sues" by readers are not intended by authors as such. Male Mary Sues are often dubbed "Gary Stu", "Larry Stu", "Marty Stu", or similar names. 

While the term is generally limited to fan-created characters, and its most common usage today occurs within the fan fiction community or in reference to fan fiction, original characters in role-playing games or literary canon are also sometimes criticized as being "Mary Sues" or "canon Sues" if they dominate the spotlight or are too unrealistic or unlikely in other ways. One example of this criticism is Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Granted, I got this from the Wikipedia entry about the item, but I feel it gets the general gist out there for those unfamiliar with the term. The media is chock-full of the demented sprog babies we call Sues, and under no circumstance should they be tolerated.

Why don't we like Mary Sues? Because they break all the laws of reality and realistic characters. They are generally mutant offspring of ideas that, apart, might have been okay but mashed together create an abomination. Ninja? Okay. Princess? All right. She-elf warrior? Sure. Embodiment of some kind of deity? Sure, we can give that a pass, too. But a ninja princess she-elf warrior embodiment of a deity? Fuck naw, son.

But before I go further, let me bring up something that can sometimes be confused as a Sue - the author insertion character. The difference between a Sue and AI is that the AI is generally not an extraordinary person. They are simply the creator's persona put into the story/RP scenario, whose points of view and morality hardly differ from said creator. Some new writers do this (Christopher Paolini's "Inheritance" series has the main protagonist as author insertion), because development of an intricate and interesting personality not their own is not easy. The creator could also be more comfortable reacting in a familiar vein to themselves, so they make a character akin to them. It's not a bad thing to do; it can serve as an easy way to introduce a newbie into RP, or allow a new writer to focus more on the story.

A Sue could even start as AI, and devolve from there into some malign creation from the Nine Hells. The best example of this that comes to mind is Anita Blake. Laurell K. Hamilton's series about the necromancer-vampire hunter begins innocuously enough; an author insertion character who encounters the strange and mythological. However, over the course of the novels Anita acquires more powers and dives headlong into pure Mary Suedom. Let's go over how she progresses, shall we?

She begins as a modestly-able necromancer, capable of summoning zombies through rituals. She's an excellent marksman, and has a black belt in Judo. Fairly typical individual here - she is not overpowered, and is, aside from the necromancy, a normal woman. By the most recent novel, she has acquired:

- Several marks from her vampire "master", which grant her superhuman strength, durability and healing powers
- A need to "feed" off the energies released during sex
- Several strains of lycanthropy, yet isn't a wereanimal herself
- The ability to call to several animals, including leopard, tiger and wolf
- The ability to control vampires, depending on age and ability
- A vampire servant nearly a millennia old, included in her own triumverate separate from the one she has with her first vampire
- Is considered the "queen" of the local wereleopard group, though she isn't one
- Can also "feed" off her "incredible anger"
- Used the ardeur succubus power to enslave a werelion
- Eventually defeats the progenitor of all vampire-kind

On top of all of this, the woman has like a dozen people she's fucking/ed, because people keep falling in love with her. If I had an award for the biggest Mary Sue in modern literature, I would personally hand it over to LKH. Admittedly, she'd be in the running with Stephenie Meyer's Bella and Charlaine Harris' Sookie. Maybe we can have a death-match between the three of them?

Did I mention she also fucked a swan king in bird form? Yeah. Swanfucker.

Now that you have an example of a Mary Sue, let's start a list of things that can help you identify whether you have inadvertently created a Mary Sue, or how to avoid them in roleplaying situations.

You May Have a Mary Sue If . . .

. . . the character possessed two or more unique traits (goddess demon, ninja princess elf)
. . . is of a race that cannot exist or a hybrid of wretched ratios (angel-demon, werewolf-dragon-vampire)
. . . has more benefits than flaws that makes them unrealistic
. . . has more than three college degrees and is in their early 20s (NO, YOU ARE NOT TONY STARK)
. . . has a handicap, that isn't actually a detriment to their daily life
. . . he or she has some flaw, but it's so minimal and superficial it compensates for naught (frivilous clumsiness comes to mind)
. . . the character is an expert in several martial arts that take years to master
. . . the character is *beautiful* and just everyone should know at all times
. . . he or she can down more alcohol than a rugby team, is a size 0, and feels no effects
. . . he or she is chased after by too many individuals of their preferred gender (and is not Tenchi Masaki)
. . . he or she is over-powered to the point of base comedy
. . . he or she must be important to practically everyone they meet
. . . the character has to be the center of attention in all social gatherings
. . . the character has the worst case of DiD(iD) you may ever see
. . . they are the last of/most important member of/only member of a group or race
. . . they are completely perfect in any way ("She never even farts!")
. . . the character has a SUPER IMPORTANT DESTINY they alone must fulfill
. . . he or she can win at whatever endeavor they engender, without assistance, and sometimes without getting a scratch on them or injury of any kind
. . . he or she has been granted divine powers from portfolios totally opposite of one another
. . . he or she has canon-character parents, who have never before had any kind of relationship, or comes from an impossible relationship, or is the secret child of a canon couple that was hidden away
. . . the character has hair/eye colors completely out of place and improbable for the race they're from
. . . the character talks about the aforementioned unique features at the drop of a hat, for no reason other than to point out how unique they are
. . . the character possesses some rare magical artifact/weapon that they alone can wield, that has no negative effects on their person
. . . the character is filthy, unbelievably, ungodly rich with no real reason, and without the benefit of a team of accountants or lawyers
. . . he or she possesses the rank or position within some organization (military, police, a business) with no prerequisite experience or training ("Our new CEO is only seventeen! And her hair is perfect, though the oddest shade of sea foam green . . .")

-- There are probably many more, but I decided to stop myself before I become even more of a hate-monger.

Do yourself the favor and skim over your character before you release it into the wild. Making a unique and interesting character is not a sin, but if there aren't any flaws to it, or nothing you can work on over the course of the story or roleplay, then what's the point in playing it? Perfect characters who can accomplish anything are dreadfully pedestrian and boring.

The best characters are flawed (Tony Stark's drinking problem, Gregory House's acerbic personality and drug abuse, Batman's insufferable bastardy, John Critchon's token human-ness, Aang's inherent pacifistic nature, Michael Westen's humanity), which allows people to form emotional attachments to them. You can't click with someone who has no flaws, doesn't screw up and never fails - life isn't that way, and seeing something/one like that automatically makes us detach from it. If there's no struggle for a character to overcome, no dramatic tension for a build-up, you will lose your audience and will have wasted your time.

Don't make a Mary Sue. Fanfictions are stuffed full of the things, and they occur enough in roleplay that you need a proverbial machete to cut through them all to find the diamonds in the rough. A Sue can be salvaged, but if they dwell in the oubliette of Mary Suedom for too long, there's nothing that can be done for them except pass them over to the Saints (as pictured above).

Oh, I'm wrong. We can mock the fuck out of them. They deserve it.

NAMES - First impressions, people

So we'll start off with this classical nugget:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet."

- Romeo and Juliet, (II, ii, 1-2)

Everyone knows that one. The point being made there, is that regardless of what it's called, the rose would still be a rose. Nothing changes that. Or, you could use this example from the delightful video game called Borderlands 2:

However, when it comes to characters for either works of literature, or roleplay, names are very fucking important. You can't be rolling around with a shitty name and expect people to take your character seriously.

Therefore, let's move to Things To Avoid When Naming Your Character.

Shit That Doesn't Match the Genre

If you're developing a character in, say, a modern setting, go root through the infinitesimal baby name sites abounding in the internet. You should find a good given name if you cruise through those. Surnames can be found in a similar way, like searching genealogy sites or phone books. Extra points if it sounds like a name you might run across in a newspaper, or as a coworker.

What you're keeping in mind is that during the 20th century, a lot of names have gone out of fashion. And numerous other names just sound fucking goofy. Would you really run across a person named Legolas while at Starbucks? And aside from Joaquin Phoenix's brief stint as Leaf, hippie names have gone the way of the dodo. Selecting a name that's that dated will only cause eye rolling and derisive snickers.

In the same vein, there are modern names that just will not work in fantasy settings. Biblical names, for one, have no precedence in the Tolkien world. There's not going to be a hobbit named Moses or Abraham, as Hebrew does not exist linguistically. There are just as many websites dedicated to elvish or Tolkien-esque names out there as there are for modern baby names. Research™!

Race Matters

Unless it's within your character's background that they were raised by a race not their own, there's no damn reason they should have another culture's name. I know it's chic nowadays to utilize certain names derived from foreign languages, but throwing some elvish name on a human child is just ridiculous. You wouldn't see an elvish child given a dwarven name, right? Klingons don't pick human names, and Asari stick to their own linguistic background, even though the "father" of the child is from a different race.

Tacky Fucking Clichés

Okay. All you jerkwaters that throw around Dante, or Jezebel, or Lilith, this is to you. These names have been overused to the point of them committing seppuku any time they're said aloud. Flower names are also right out. And Japanese names on Caucasians, go fuck yourself (unless you have a splendid reason for it.) 

Bizarre fucking spellings won't cut it either. Lylith is just as annoying, and so are the hundred iterations of Cain. And don't you dare try to justify naming your character Sephiroth. And natural weather occurrences barely even work in Final Fantasy, don't try that shit anywhere else. 

Characters given these weird names are often Mary Sues. In fact, these names are often dead giveaways for being able to tell if the character is a Sue, because originators who craft Sues are prone to trying for the "very unique" in names. What comes of it is something not at all unique, and more glaringly vapid. Beneath the veneer of the Jades and Jasmines and Cherrys of the RP world are two-dimensional chunks of boring with nothing enticing to speak of. And all the Chastitys and Charitys somehow wind up being strippers or dominatrices, or modest girls somehow turned into the bastions of all things feminine and over sexualized. 

Stealing Copyrighted Names

Just no. There's only one Drizzt. One Aragorn. One Luke Skywalker. Taking a pre-existing character and making superficial adjustments to clear it of its origin source is just as wrong as people stealing artwork and photoshopping it to try and make it their own. People will always know, and they will fry you for it. Your best bet is leaving the name alone and trying harder to come up with something more original. But if you're truly dead set on naming yourself Alucard, don't expect the fangirls to be lining up to interact with you.

Shit You Should Keep In Mind

If you're having trouble coming up with a good name set it on the back burner and delve into the meat of the character. Sometimes it's helpful to think of his ethnic background, or her social standing during childhood. Were his parents religious? Was she raised by family, or orphaned? Are the parents of differing cultures, or how old were they? Could said parents have been influenced by the pop culture of their era as children? Were they traditional, or avant garde?

Some of the best character names through literary history are simple. They keep pretension out of the flavor entirely, and somehow create something memorable. Let's look at these examples.

- Clark Kent

- Peter Parker

- Bruce Wayne

- Scott Summers

- Oliver Twist

- John Constantine

- Jason Bourne

- Dominic Toretto

- Marilyn Monroe

- Dorian Grey

- Richard B. Riddick

- John Shepard

- Duncan MacLeod

- Tony Stark

- Tom Sawyer

- Steve Rogers

- Michael Meyers

- Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan

- Frank Castle

One thing you'll see is alliteration. The repetition of certain sounds is appealing to the English-intoned ear, so with certain names with alike sounds, it rolls off the tongue. Repeated consonants work best.

There's also nothing extraordinary about the names, if you look at them separately. There are tons of Steves. And Rogers isn't all that exciting. Together, it sounds like a perfectly average guy, who may work at a desk and have a collection of model classic cars. One wouldn't expect for him to be Captain America, right?

Even Bruce Wayne sounds terribly ordinary. It's a name that fits a canny business man who inherited more than a few silver spoons. It's iconic together now because of who it is in comics, but if Batman didn't exist, it'd be just another name.

And that's the point I'm trying to drive home. Perfectly ordinary names made exemplary because of the character behind it, not the name. The name is just the doorway, a selling point to get started and build off of. The character could be excellent, but if they're given a shit name, the whole flavor gets ruined. 

Conversely, a character could have a decent name, but the concept is absolute trash. Edward Cullen, for example, is a good name. But when it got attached to a stalking, immortally-cold sparkling virgin, it was ruined for all time. Don't get me started on Bella. Just don't. 

As it stands, gentle reader, before deciding on a name for your newest creation, keep these things in mind. If you're not sure about a name, ask a friend who doesn't roleplay how they feel about it. If they give it the thumbs-up, you're good. If they point out it's goofy, hit the drawing board again. Many fellow roleplayers can be somewhat lax about names, given their exposure to crazy names on a daily basis. But mundane people aren't so used to weird names, so their reactions are generally more on the spot. Don't be afraid to ask for constructive criticism. That's the only way to get better.