Granted, this blog is for rants. Sometimes, things pop up that I have nothing constructive for. Some shit just tweaks my nose the wrong way and incites the rage. Sound-Offs are going to be my soap boxes for going off on shit, without any kind of helpful addenda.
FUCKERS WITH WHITE HAIR
What is the goddamn point? I've recently started playing "The Secret World," a MMORPG based in the modern age with some Lovecraftian twists. It's an alternate universe, but still thoroughly modern as much as 2012 can be.
I have spotted over 25 characters with white hair. I used to have a Post-It™ note on my desk with a fucking tally of every goddamn white-haired character I spotted.
These are not old people. In fact, the lone exception to the hair-color-rage was a noticeably older gent. He escaped the tally because he was old. Every other fucker who got marked down was a fucking youngster with fucking white hair.
I don't fucking get it. The genetic frequency of naturally-occurring white hair is rare as hell. Albinism is not as frequent as people might think, and I doubt a one of those dicey calf-mongers would own up to their character being albino. Being albino isn't sexy, you know.
African-American, and albino, models Shaun Ross and Diandra Forrest
Shit, go cruise over to this Wikipedia article to see what pop culture thinks about albinism.
No, they picked fucking white hair to be "unique". And would likely argue that white hair is naturally-occurring. Sure. If you have premature aging, a melanin disorder, or you see a fucking stylist every goddamn week. But the thing of it is, even if you find a legit way to make white hair, it's not really white. Bleaching your hair every fucking week to get your roots is also very unhealthy for your hair, and you may as well just cut all that crap off before it becomes straw jutting out of your head.
So unless your character is an albino, had a genetic disorder, is an alien or other non-human without certain colorations, get off your unique little chair and change that fucking hair color. You look like a tool. Top it off with a scene kid hair cut, some pseudo-punk attire, and throw it off a fucking bridge. You are an irritating pest. I don't care how you role-play, if you don't have a good goddamn reason for your character to have white hair aside from "I thought it was cool/looks neat/awesome", fuck you.
I will continue to sit here in my angry chair and glare at every bastard I see with stupid hair. No, you can't change my mind, I am old and opinionated.
I've mentioned it a few times already, so I figured I'd get to the meat and potatoes of shit that bothers me.
RESEARCH (or, shit some people just don't understand to do).
Now, I'm not saying that people should have a degree in the things they are playing for their character. I don't expect a person playing a mechanic to know the difference between a resonator and a catalytic converter. Nor do I expect for a person to be fully versed in the vast variety of ammunition available on (or off!) the market. People role-playing lawyers should not need to pass the bar. Pretendy soldiers don't need to be military veterans.
But you should have enough passing knowledge to sell the concept. Take a few extra minutes from your day to look things up. Find reliable sources you can refer to, so your character can sound like they know what they're talking about. And no matter what, if someone offers knowledge (and aren't a fucking cockwagon about it), accept that! There will likely be people out there who actually know the things your character does, and it behooves you as a player to take advantage of that information.
It hearkens back to what I said regarding accents; if you do enough research, you can get close enough to the accent that it's not annoying. If a native speaker gives you advice on how to make it more authentic, take it!
If you're playing a character of a different nationality than yourself, dig a little into the area they're from. People bitch about Hollywood actors of an ethnicity other than the characters they portray fucking things up (see Racebending.com for better information on this topic). I mean, David Carradine was a great actor, but he wasn't an Asian. I'm assuming the writers of the series "Kung Fu" did their research to help a white man play a Chinese native. If you as a player don't know the differences inherent between, say, a Londoner and a Glaswegian, go Google that motherfucker up. Find the slang and idiosyncrasies common to the nationality.
Heck, even if you're an American playing someone from a different state than your own, look into it. Otherwise, how would you know, as a New Yorker, that folks down in Georgia call everything soda-like a coke?
Research goes a long way towards making a mediocre concept great. Finding little tidbits to flesh out your creation will turn it from just another set of tropes to something that stands out on its own. While tropes may be useful in helping others understand a bit about your character, being able to rattle off a gigantic list of tropes to describe your character is generally not good. That's not a real person, at that point, it's a fucking anime character, unless your game of choice is based off anime. Even then, that's a two-dimensional piece of fluff that gets boring very quickly.
Research gives you the ability to know enough about something to sell it, and selling the character is half the work necessary for role-play. You could have a concept that's ripe for abuse, but if you can find a way to pass it off believably it can downslide back into reality. If you can stud your literary sculpture with nuggets of truth, your audience will have a better appreciation of it.
I had originally wanted to throw an "Avenger" clip in there, of the by-play between Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, but alas. Maybe when the film comes out and the clips flood YouTube, I'll update.
Anyone who knows Marvel Comics knows Iron Man. We know that Tony Stark was a child prodigy, a brilliant engineer, and a lush. What made the casting of Robert Downey Jr. absolutely perfect for the role was that he sold it. Even before he was cast, he sold it, because he was pretty much all of the above (replace "child prodigy" with "child actor", if you will). He may not know all the tech-lingo Stark throws around in his films, but the writers have done enough research to provide him with what to say to sell it. We can watch his films and accept him as a billionaire playboy philanthropist, because the writers, and maybe even the actor, did their research enough to put the right words in his mouth.
Unlike Natalie Portman in "Thor". She's a great actress, but she didn't quite sell me on the idea she was playing an astrophysicist. That could also just be me, so if you can find a way to help me grasp her as an astrophysicist, help me out.
Now, what if you're playing something that has no correlation to real world topics? Improvise. There are plenty of articles on Tolkien's creatures, for example, that you can parse enough together to portray a good elf. Finding pieces about various kinds of magic, either "real world" magic, or from role-playing games, will help you put forth a decent mage. But if you can't find anything to substantiate your character concept, make shit up.
J.K Rowling did it best with her "Harry Potter" series.
She concocted pretty much everything for the series (Yes, I know, Harry and Tim Hunter have a lot in common, but I blame the Pancamo Satellite for that. J.K has disavowed any knowledge of Neil Gaiman's stellar work with his boy wizard). She sells her world with what she provides to her readers, and she does it well.
But if you're creating something that has roots in history, do your research! Find out what sorts of creatures existed in the Celtic mythos. Delve into Greek classics to find more on Amazons. Page through material on the Aztecs for rituals.
With the Internet around, players have no excuses for not looking up things for their characters. Sheer laziness does not an excellent concept make. Those folks end up with impossibly cliched and awful creations, or at the very worst, unbelievable Mary Sues. No one likes a Mary Sue.
You owe it to yourself as a player to find out whatever you can to make your character a living, breathing thing. You owe it to your friends, and fellow players, to dedicate a little of yourself to making their experience just as fun as yours. It is incredibly rude, and not to mention a disservice, to fumble along like a drunk co-ed trying to give her date a blow job in the back of a Pinto in regards to talking the talk. Collect your sources. Read a few articles. Find a decent book on the subject matter. Broaden your horizons, or be a true baller and sell that shit like tail on Hollywood Boulevard.
